How to Get Back With An Old Flame

old flame

For some reason you can’t seem to get your mind off your old flame. You just can’t help thinking about the wonderful times you shared with your ex and the beautiful memories you made. You can’t help wondering what might have been if you were still together.

Now that you are older and wiser, the reasons for splitting up seem so petty. You feel so empty and unfulfilled these days and you can’t help but wonder what it would be like to get back together. You’re probably also wondering if it’s possible to win back your ex fast. Here are some things to consider on how to get back with an old flame.

No Strings

Make sure that you are free, single and disengaged. If you are in a relationship, this could complicate things a lot more. If your ex decides to take you back and discovers that you are involved in a relationship, it could blow up in your face. In fact, if you are in a relationship, it suggests that you are dishonest and can’t be trusted. No one wants to risk getting hurt twice by the same person.

Prepare for the Worst

In your quest of how to get back with an old flame, you must prepare for the worst. Life goes on and your old flame may not be sitting around, waiting for you. They may have gotten over the bad break up and moved on with their lives. If they have moved on and have found joy in a new relationship, it is wise that you just let it be. If you really love them, you would be happy that they have found happiness. To do otherwise would be very selfish of you.

People Change

Back then both of you may have been a match made in heaven. Your ex may have had some flaws but he or she was truly spectacular, or seemed that way to you. Despite this, you must bear in mind that people change. Even you are not that same person that you were last year this time. You may have lost weight or gained it, changed job, gotten sick or gotten well. Your old flame may have gone through some things that have changed them for the better or the worse, too. You need to be prepared to accept this or you could be in for a rude awakening.

Be Patient

People can sense desperation a mile off. Yes, you may have a deep yearning in the inner recesses of your heart for them, but don’t let them know. Don’t be tempted to call too frequently or show up on their doorstep every night of the week. Doing this could drive them further away from and that is not you want. Instead, be subtle about your pursuits. Inch your way very slowly back into their lives and get to know them again.

Look to the Future

Not many are successful in their ploys on how to get back with an old flame. Once you’ve been successful, it may be tempting to look back in the past. However, if your new relationship is to thrive, you have to focus on the future. With this in mind, you should avoid dwelling constantly on the mistakes you’ve both made. Rediscover each other, learn new things and be grateful for your second chance. Remember, not everyone gets that opportunity.


  1. Woody

    High School reunions are a great way to reconnect with old girlfriends and boyfriends (or people you used to wish were). I am always surprised how so many people seem not to have changed at all. I guess we are getting older, but not wiser.

    • CHS

      Facebook too. They have that section where you can enter your high school, college and every place you ever worked. What’s embarrassing is when somebody remembers you and you don’t remember them at all. I had that happen a couple times.

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